We at autofellatiosaurus have recently been playing a lot of Overwatch. Here’s an impression of the game, if you haven’t already tried it yourself. If you are not at all interested in this sort of thing, please, by all means, do continue to read!
So, it turns out I’m quite the Pharah player. Pharah is the rocket launcher character, she can fly around a bit and shoot people with rockets. I play a mean Pharah. For instance, this one time I went over to Mercy and used foul language regarding her private parts. Mercy cried, but I didn’t care. If you’re investing yourself in a role play, never break character. If I’m playing a mean Pharah, I am playing a mean Pharah, God dammit. I also tend to aim for other players’ cocks at all times. Fortunately for them, I am not a good gunner.
I also am quite the Tracer player. Tracer is this annoying bitch who constantly harrasses people for no apparent reason. She would come at you, punch you in your stomach and immediately retreat again, leaving you without a chance to repay the favor. I play a mean Tracer. For instance, this one time I fell off a cliff and, while falling, shouted towards our supporter: “You suck!”. That must have really hurt. Then I died. I tend to aim for other players’ cocks at all times. Swooshing in, punching them in the cock, disappearing again. Sometimes I attach explosives to their cocks.
It must suck to tend to all the wounded cocks of the other team. Their support heroes must really hate me. Good.