What a day

I went rock climbing today. Rock climbing, me, can you believe it? Though i didn’t have any experience, it started off pretty well. I peed all over the place and some women even got pregnant right behind me. Everything was fine, but just as i was about to reach the top, all went totally wrong.

Thousands of Sharks died one by one. Black people and Mexicans argued about which of them is more poor and stupid. Accountants tried to save all their antique swords and armors and it looked like the whole world was going to collapse. But right at that moment, when there was no hope left, i just shouted “I am Hitler” and that was it.

War was over, peace broke out. I saw ISIS fighters making love to hungarian prostitutes like it was nothing. Panda bears dressed up in fancy new suits made breakfast for everyone, they even fried some bacon. Christmas trees tried to get a cheap flight to Los Angeles, i’ve never been happier in my entire life.

When i finally got home, i made dinner and burned my toast. What a day!

Posted in Short Stories

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