If you think about the sun, you most likely think about joy, warmth, summer, all pleasant stuff. That’s probably true most of the time, but not in Lisbon. The Lisbon sun can best be compared to the sun in that one Super Mario level. Coming at you hard and you have to dodge it while running and jumping over obstacles. What an asshole. Can’t it see, I’ve got other problems to worry about? If you fail to avoid it, your skin will get burned. Great, I didn’t bring an extra pair of skin! Now what?
My approach: I will kill it. I already talked to the Portuguese Ministry of Attack about their arsenal of atomic bombs. They said they’d gladly give everything to me, since I seem like a decent person. So, fear no more, dear readers, as I am about to blow the Lisbon sun to pieces! I already launched all the interplanetary rockets my dear friends of the Ministry of Attack could muster, armed with nothing but kindness, since Portugal apparently hasn’t got any atomic weapons. Kindness should do the trick though. Just you wait! For a few months or so!
Now I’m off to the national tile museum. It’s indoors, the sun can’t get me there.
Hmm. What if I just hold a mirror over my head, directing all the laser beams back to the sun itself? That might work…