Portuguese Wildlife

Posted on May 16, 2016 by omnomnia — Leave a comment

I was planning on leaving the room today, but that was not possible. Reason being a three foot in diameter, roughly spherical monster that is blocking my way out. First it blocked the kitchen, then the bathroom and now the hallway. This creature, which my host’s flat mates are calling “cleaning lady”, seems to be fairly common in this area. I am terribly afraid of it and I plan on running away forever once the coast is clear.

But where to go? Who can guarantee that I won’t stumble across another “cleaning lady” in the wild? What if I accidentally bring some of them home with me and they start populating my home town? Is there some sort of spray or cream that repels them?

Oh God, now it’s running around the hallway with a really loud device on wheels. I will hide under the bed and wait for my death. Does it really have to end like this?

My advice to you: Do not travel at all, ever. Stay at home instead, in your room. It’s safe.