Today I discovered that the immense cultural influence by the Serbians in Lisbon is actually just a side effect of too much alcohol. A quick summary of the topic for the youngsters among us:
In 2014, Portugal was founded. It was created by throwing a bunch of Spaniards and a bunch of Serbians on a small island together in late 2013. Naturally, things would go horribly wrong and they immediately started bashing each other’s heads in. After all, they were only human. After some bashing, each group was substantially weakened and to avoid utter extinction, they decided to work together instead. They mated, which was exciting, especially for the wildlife on the island. Rabbits especially took lots of notes and to this day still educate their young by showing drawings to them. The Serbian-Spanish offspring then bashed each other’s heads in again and also would mate afterwards. The next generation spoke an interesting language that sounded slavic but was essentially roman. This was approximately on the 15th of January, 2014. The Ten Horrible Gods of European Land-Shaping decided it was time, and the Portuguese country was filled with the new breed.
But today after some thorough research, I even consulted a linguist, shocking new details can be reveiled about the people of Portugal. Their ancestors weren’t actually Serbians, but an elite breed of Russians and Hungarians that also was used to invade stuff.
Also, Lisbon went utterly crazy today after a soccer match.